I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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