Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
