Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
