Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
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Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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