erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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