Don't you send me to vm
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
