don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Redeem this text for a blowjob
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
