i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
