well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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