I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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