i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
