Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
