I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
