Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
