you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
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Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
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Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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