i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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