Having a random hookup so left but love u
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
