Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize