I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
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