Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
