get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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