coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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