I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
