It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize