If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
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My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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