I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
