You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
