It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
