I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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