Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
