she takes plan B like it's going out of style
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
