I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
vagina is talking i cant
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
