Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
