I want to have your abortion
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
