By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize