Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
