Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
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started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
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Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
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