i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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