You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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