Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
sex in a hospital.. check
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
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