What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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