I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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