How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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