for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
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you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
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You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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