About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
