Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Panties = found
Randomize
