sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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