I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
