so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
