I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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