is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
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