you guys were way drunker than both of me
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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