He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
