my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
