singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
